6 Bags and A Carton

This is not a technical post; this is something that I have been going through, in life right now. A few months ago, when I left my first job (another time, another post 😉 ), I had a plan. I wanted to take few months off and work on my technical knowledge and write amazing software and get a lot of learning out of my little sabbatical.

But I was not able to do that for a few reasons, primo being I had to move homes in Bangalore because my brother got transferred, so the savings that I had set aside wouldn’t be enough. This was not the end. When it rains, it pours apparently. My dad got super sick, he had a growth near his kidney which the doctors diagnosed as cancer. I got really scared with the situation I was going through. The thing about your parents is that no matter how much you fight with them or how much they “control” you; at the end of the day the thought of losing them can scare the hell out of you. For me, they are my biggest support system so I was not scared, I was terrified.

I gave it a really deep thought and took a call. I needed to find a job. The sabbatical could wait. I started applying to companies and talking to people if they needed extra hand at work. One piece of advice – never leave a job unless you have another in hand. Luckily, I had my small pot of gold, savings, so even in this phase I was sustaining myself. Yes, savings are real and you should have a sufficient amount at any given point of your life. This helps you to take the hard decisions and also to think independently (what Jason calls F*ck you money).

It still feels like a nightmare to me. I use to feel that I will wake up and it will all be over. Reality check; it wasn’t a dream so I have to live with it and make efforts to overcome this situation.

Taking up a job for me was important for two reasons,

  1. I have to sustain myself
  2. I need to have a back up in case my dad needs something (I also have super amazing siblings who were doing the same)

I realised one thing about prayer and God; yes, I believe in God, and I don’t know if prayer works but you definitely get the strength to face your problems and the unknown. I use to call my dad regularly asking how he was doing and some days he could not speak all that much and he use to talk in his weak tone. I use to cry. I was in so much pain although it was not physical or visible. And then, I would cry again.

But tough times teach you a lot, it shows you real friends, it shows you the people you care for and as Calvin’s dad would have said, “It build character!”. I have been through bad times before and the thing about time is , “It changes!”. I knew someday this bad time I am going through will change. Either the agony I am going through will reduce or I will get used to it.

So as I was giving interviews within a month of me moving on from my old job, I was offered one at Clootrack. I like the people who interviewed me and I like that ideas they have been working on. But I have seen people change and I have gone through a bad experiences and at no point of time did I want to repeat past mistakes, so I did a thorough background check before I said yes to them. I got a really good response so here I am working with them.

The accommodation problem that I had was my brother was shifting out of his quarters  and I used to live with him. Well, I helped him pack and I still remember the time when I was bidding farewell to him and my sister-in-law. I had tears in my eyes and after my goodbyes, the moment I stepped in the house I could feel the emptiness and I cried the whole night.  I  could stay at the old place for a week, not more. At this point I can’t thank Abhinav enough that he came as  a support I needed. He graciously let me live with him as long as  I wanted to. Apparently he needed help, paying his bills :P.  This bugger would never accept the fact, he helped me. When dad’s condition was getting bad he gave me really solid moral support. I had also shared my situation with Jason, Abraar, Kushal and Sayan. I received a good amount of moral support from each one of them, specially Jason. I use to tell him everything and he would just calm me down and talk me through it.

So when I shifted to Abhinav’s place all I had was 6 bags and a carton. My whole life was 6 bags and a carton. My office was a 2 hour bus ride one way and another 2 hours to come back. But I didn’t have any problems with this arrangement because this was the least of my problems. I literally use to live out of my bags and I wasn’t sure this arrangement would last long. I had some really amazing moments with Abhinav, I enjoyed our ups and downs and those little fights and leg pulling.

Well, my dad is still not in the best of his health, but he is doing better now. I visit my family more frequently now and yes call them regularly with a miss. I realised the value of health after seeing my dad. I went home after a month of joining Clootrack and stayed with him for a whole month and worked remotely, we visited few doctors and they said he is doing better. After coming back I realised I was not getting any time for myself so I shifted to a NestAway near my office. Although I feel I’ve gotten used to the agony, you never know what life has in store for you next.
It feels much better now, though.

I thank God for giving me strength and my friends and family for supporting me in a lot of different ways.

With Courage in my Heart,
And Faith over Head

 

 

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10 thoughts on “6 Bags and A Carton

  1. Love the title – 6 Bags and A Carton 🙂
    Think I‘ll use it as my epitaph 😂

    It also reminded me of this quote from the bible,

    And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
    But the greatest of these is love.

  2. I am taking some time off after college to work on my technical knowledge because I thought I could do a bit better if I just invest some time working on my skills. So after reading this I felt lucky and motivated, want to work harder towards my goal 🙂 It’s really an inspiring post.
    Hope your dad get well soon.
    PS: I agree with Jason, love the title. You don’t get the beauty of the title until you read the full post.

  3. Hey Farhan !!
    This was very inspiring directly from your inner heart. Hard times never lasts long, just be stong and a new sunshine will bring you all the happiness.

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